Saturday, March 5, 2011

Life as a Pariah

Rousseau


Recently came across another blogger's post called "The Secret of Happiness". Basically the idea is

"You are much happier when you assume that everyone likes you."

I used to live like this up to about 7th-8th grade. I easily made friends with everyone, and truly felt there was nothing wrong with me when it came to interactions with other people. Then some unfortunate social events gradually changed me to someone that assumes everyone doesn't like me. There are pros and cons to both attitudes, but I think it's obvious that I've been rarely happy since the change.

Ignorance can truly be bliss. Living in a world where I genuinely believed everyone liked me created some haters, but I dismissively shrugged them off and stayed with those who loved me. When I discovered that I wasn't hot shit, I felt incredibly naive and stupid, and began a much more careful and apprehensive approach to social situations.

While this attitude was great in keeping good terms with everybody around me, I was never secure or happy with myself as a person. Unnatural behavior took over, and I've always felt a little awkward since. Today, I feel I must be perfect, or live unhappy/lonely forever. It's a lot of unhappiness, but at the same time, I guess I enjoy it in a twisted, be-the-best-that-you-can-be way.


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20 comments:

  1. Jennifer FabulousMarch 5, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    This is a really interesting theory on happiness. I think I was most happy in life when I really didn't give a crap what people thought of me. But now, for some reason, I do care because major changes in my life have altered my own perception of myself...

    But I do see people, like my best friend, for instance, who genuinely believe everyone in the world loves them, and therefore they just smile through life.

    I wish I could be more like that. You're right: ignorance is bliss...

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  2. Something ConcupiscibleMarch 5, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Just remember that nobody is perfect.

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  3. BreakMarch 5, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    Doesn't always wanting to be perfect bring a lot of stress? I'm the type of person who loves everyone and doesn't care if someone hates me :P

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  4. AnonymousMarch 5, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    very interesting post...its hard to believe everyone likes you, or at least it is for me...but I can see how that would make you happy...so maybe its better to like ourselves and say to hell with everyone else??? hehe

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  5. UnknownMarch 5, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    I tend to just ignore ppl that "hate me".

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  6. AnonMakeMarch 5, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    If you want to be perfect than you have to lie and be a fake person so i skip that and be who i am. You should do that to..

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  7. Astronomy PirateMarch 5, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    I was that way for awhile, when I realized 2 things. No one really cares if you are awkward. And acting out of the norms attracts attention to you, makes you attractive, therefore more people like you.

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  8. UnknownMarch 5, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    this is very interesting! nobody can be happy all the time and certainly not one person is happy
    i guess we just all have to make the best of it and hope things turn out the way they should :)

    XOXO
    www.alexandra-clements.blogspot.com

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  9. UnknownMarch 5, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    There a lot of perspectives that change within us as we grow older. Great post. Keep it coming!

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  10. Bluntmasta FlexMarch 5, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    Wow interesting theory. I'll have to try it out!

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  11. AnonymousMarch 5, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    I dont really care if someone hates me, I'm just ok with that.

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  12. GrytMarch 5, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    I tried to be a perfectionist, and I took pride in everything I did. Unfortunately it seemed to me that only my flaws were noticed and my best work was set to the side. Now I focus on what makes me happy, music and art; and focus on those things more.

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  13. ChelseaMarch 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Hey. Maybe you ARE hot shit.

    Don't worry about being perfect. Just be.

    I really like your blog. It's very insightful.

    Chelsea

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  14. edMarch 5, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    ignorance is bliss until you end up on the street and have an epiphany

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  15. PhilophobicMarch 6, 2011 at 12:18 AM

    But sometimes, happiness is the absence of sadness.

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  16. FreekMarch 6, 2011 at 2:56 AM

    I kind of grew up in a very fortunate way, I suppose. My mom would repeatedly say "you're such a sweet kid; it's like everyone you meet immediately likes you!"
    I really believe I carried that with me into adulthood.

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  17. MerlyyMarch 6, 2011 at 3:35 AM

    Just remember that pobody is nerfect.

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  18. batterypasteMarch 6, 2011 at 5:36 AM

    I wish I could have that thinking but I know the truth and it hurts I guess T.T

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  19. YenaaaMarch 6, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    I totally understand you. I was really outgoing until high school, and for some reason I just became afraid that people didn't like me :[
    This is a great post, and really good quotes. I never thought about being happy with that perspective.

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  20. HarvengerMarch 6, 2011 at 9:54 AM

    That's a great quote. I should post that too Facebook ;)

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